I know I haven't been vary active as of late. Also after all those fun pokemon pictures I had coming just about every other day. However from about mid July on I have been having horrible Stomach issues. Any bit of stress I feel causes me to have stomach pains and nausea. Ever since I was young vomiting has been my bane. and feeling sick is my heel. It controls my life. however recently it has taken more of an effect then I would like. eating is a chore now for anything I eat hurts me even just a sip of water. and any amount of pain, as light as it might be stresses me out because I fear being sick so THAT stress makes my stomach hurt even more and I end up simply not eating.
Any time I want to play a game or draw as soon as my stomach hurts I stand in the bathroom scared out of my mind. any bit of stress even simple daily things like running out of toilet paper or wondering what to eat for dinner seems to be causing me pain when before it never even bothered me. I'm not sure if it is from these actual events that causes me pain or if something deeper in my mind is messing me up. idk.
The doctors gave me pills to heal stomach lining. and I'm taking some acid reducers that seem to help (also used to keep your stomach lining from being burned by acid build up caused by stress) however as time goes on these pills stopped helping. my zoloft doesn't seem to be keeping my calm anymore either....
I lost 10 points in just one week from lack of eating (though I have been forcing myself to eat at least one bite a day) work my mind seems to be filled up with doing something but as soon as I get home I'm in pain again free time is taken up with me hiding in my bathroom scared I might throw up. I have spent at least 4-5 hours a day just hanging out in the bathroom wondering when the pain will stop. I mostly blame that three or four months ago I did throw up for the first time in over 12 years. so the memory and the feelings is so fresh in my mind that I scare myself with it. I don't mean to but I know I'm making my problem worse by doing it.
Any art I had planned on doing. any comics. group work. its all on hold. I had planned on starting up my pokemon comic by new year. however this is now on hold once again. I had planned on having Distance spoilers up then too but I haven't had the stomach to do anything.
aside from any owed work you will NOT see anything from me for the next month or so. I will comment and reply regularly because that doesn't take much effort. but actual work is not gonna happen. and once I finish any owed things I will be back in hiding until my stomach problems are solved.
another doctors visit is being worked out. I lived with stomach problems all my life but now its stopping me from eating or even having fun. I will not let myself starve but its looking like the only option when my biggest fear in the known world is throwing up....can't get sick if there isn't anything in your stomach right? kind of... but its the only thing that seems to NOT hurt....