Another update.

So after the last update I'm still having trouble eating at home. and now anywhere. again. however it wasnt painful. I'm just scared IF it starts to hurt and then I get paranoid and start to have a mini panic attack.

I ended up getting sick. I thought it was strep like I get every year around this time. turns out everyone around here who got the flu shot ended up with horrible throat problems ;A; but THATS all gone now... after I took meds that didn't mix well with others without thinking and ended up high... I embarrassed myself so badly in front of my boyfriends mother ;A; I NEVER mix meds but when I get sick this time of year I just take what I take and never give it a second thought.... but I took my anxiety stuff too without thinking about BOTH of them together... NEVER AGAIN ;A; 

so I finally felt ok to eat at home. the foods I eat don't bother me themselves. so I ate a chili dog :3 I love those. and as you all know stress causes me problems.... so what happens as soon as im done eating? the refrigerator broke. my mother and I paid the landlord rent by buying ourselves a fridge (that the landlord can keep when we leave) since my mom has alot of credit at home depot and it was the only way last year we could "pay" for rent.

well so my mom is freaking out. my dad is only making it worse. and im just trying to calmly watch youtube because as soon as it started my stomach started to just jump.... well after being in the bathroom I feel a bit better but my recovery is going to be a bigger pain then I was hopping. being home or ANYWHERE there is any kind of stress seems to bother me. idk how I will learn to live like this... how will I become a proper adult and move out? do my own things? can I handle it? probably not....



And of course my subscription is up ;A; I will buy another one later this month when there is a sale >.> stupid ads.....